Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
