this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
