No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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