Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
