that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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