Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
