I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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