ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
