I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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