She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
