so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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