My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
