apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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