Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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