My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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