everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize