she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
