Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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