No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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