what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize