is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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