WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Randomize
