He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
