She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
