giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
