He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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