Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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