we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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