This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Quick, to the slutcave!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
