U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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