Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
