You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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