Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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