i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
