We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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