He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
