I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
