is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
being pregnant is like rehab
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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