just come out here and I will go home with you...
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
