you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I got chris browned last night
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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