My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
