He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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