office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
