I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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