the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
