so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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