in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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