Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
