I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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