I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
