hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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