I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
