Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.

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  (313): That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve. http://tfl.nu/vdk5
  Replies (16) Good night (883) Bad night (2778)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight

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  (612): Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight http://tfl.nu/a290
  Replies (69) Good night (1282) Bad night (9004)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.

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  (832): Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room. http://tfl.nu/mk1e
  Replies (7) Good night (2632) Bad night (764)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope

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  (678): I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope http://tfl.nu/y4eb
  Replies (3) Good night (1578) Bad night (796)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.

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  (907): My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic. http://tfl.nu/erca
  Replies (3) Good night (2138) Bad night (1253)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this

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  (778): She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this http://tfl.nu/vwo0
  Replies (5) Good night (1093) Bad night (2096)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?

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  (843): New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard. (321): Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman? http://tfl.nu/4ln7
  Replies (6) Good night (731) Bad night (1695)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.

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  (336): If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone. http://tfl.nu/bfil
  Replies (12) Good night (1241) Bad night (446)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score

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  (608): his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score http://tfl.nu/rd1e
  Replies (7) Good night (1391) Bad night (518)
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  (760): View more from California

  I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME

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  (760): I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME http://tfl.nu/7g5e
  Replies (2) Good night (1099) Bad night (484)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??

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  (971): Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body?? http://tfl.nu/w42i
  Replies (5) Good night (992) Bad night (315)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.

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  (250): Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear. http://tfl.nu/ufbe
  Replies (1) Good night (617) Bad night (311)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm drunk at 3:28

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm jealous as shit at 3:34

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  (913): I'm drunk at 3:28 (816): I'm jealous as shit at 3:34 http://tfl.nu/umrv
  Replies (1) Good night (1135) Bad night (286)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW

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  (501): DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW http://tfl.nu/uzsx
  Replies (6) Good night (1225) Bad night (467)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.

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  (361): I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/ovfn
  Replies (1) Good night (297) Bad night (219)

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