Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.

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  (908): her vagina looked like a handful of raisins. http://tfl.nu/5whx
  Replies (91) Good night (1254) Bad night (24231)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid

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  (832): and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid http://tfl.nu/8ij1
  Replies (44) Good night (736) Bad night (3400)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"

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  (574): We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?" http://tfl.nu/lg4y
  Replies (20) Good night (1082) Bad night (5752)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?

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  (630): I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer? http://tfl.nu/yj7n
  Replies (26) Good night (4552) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club

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  (507): Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club http://tfl.nu/ln6l
  Replies (10) Good night (3468) Bad night (1236)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?

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  (703): If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house? http://tfl.nu/eww0
  Replies (5) Good night (2506) Bad night (1024)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.

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  (678): All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know. http://tfl.nu/jvfd
  Replies (6) Good night (1213) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!

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  (817): Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?! http://tfl.nu/9bqy
  Replies (10) Good night (1966) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them

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  (214): then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them http://tfl.nu/nuwa
  Replies (8) Good night (1505) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"

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  (+27): Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!" http://tfl.nu/eeqt
  Replies (15) Good night (3964) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.

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  (716): I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start. http://tfl.nu/5uu7
  Replies (13) Good night (2377) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.

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  (714): It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs. http://tfl.nu/jalq
  Replies (11) Good night (416) Bad night (1866)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I told you I would

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend

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  (931): I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me. (480): I told you I would (931): I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend http://tfl.nu/o3w2
  Replies (7) Good night (2157) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have

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  (207): Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have http://tfl.nu/07nn
  Replies (1) Good night (809) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I immediately regret the tequila decision.

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  (248): I immediately regret the tequila decision. http://tfl.nu/ptpj
  Replies (4) Good night (505) Bad night (280)

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