She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???