Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.

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  (508): Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/jn2c
  Replies (12) Good night (745) Bad night (4017)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.

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  (631): I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future. http://tfl.nu/mg9l
  Replies (27) Good night (4519) Bad night (665)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  is drinking for groundhog day legit?

  (1-484): View more from Pennsylvania

  well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes

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  (484): is drinking for groundhog day legit? (1-484): well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes http://tfl.nu/k04d
  Replies (21) Good night (6179) Bad night (614)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.

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  (817): Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed. http://tfl.nu/4b3z
  Replies (24) Good night (3726) Bad night (728)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.

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  (207): I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/g4gg
  Replies (35) Good night (2652) Bad night (3664)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.

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  (330): Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you. http://tfl.nu/fmxs
  Replies (38) Good night (7847) Bad night (1458)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.

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  (708): Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door. http://tfl.nu/qh5i
  Replies (6) Good night (3942) Bad night (848)
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  (714): View more from California

  All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.

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  (714): All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it. http://tfl.nu/eanx
  Replies (24) Good night (1128) Bad night (11850)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.

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  (503): Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge. http://tfl.nu/ays0
  Replies (8) Good night (1186) Bad night (2008)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.

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  (512): Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent. http://tfl.nu/bb3p
  Replies (7) Good night (1023) Bad night (2254)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back

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  (847): Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back http://tfl.nu/ffo4
  Replies (6) Good night (1244) Bad night (1021)
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  (909): View more from California

  Every concussion has its silver lining

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  (909): Every concussion has its silver lining http://tfl.nu/a47p
  Replies (8) Good night (905) Bad night (653)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.

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  (724): Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies. http://tfl.nu/sr2h
  Replies (17) Good night (2754) Bad night (558)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard

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  (610): I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard http://tfl.nu/mt5d
  Replies (3) Good night (1243) Bad night (323)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Two dicks, one me.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Yoga's definitely paying off.

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  (832): Two dicks, one me. (832): Yoga's definitely paying off. http://tfl.nu/ljaq
  Replies (9) Good night (837) Bad night (282)

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