Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes. http://tfl.nu/4acf
  Replies (54) Good night (3766) Bad night (2686)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave. (702): now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like" http://tfl.nu/f7jt
  Replies (17) Good night (8413) Bad night (1294)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/6dfu
  Replies (25) Good night (7338) Bad night (1199)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay http://tfl.nu/cp59
  Replies (4) Good night (3509) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made. http://tfl.nu/g5vb
  Replies (16) Good night (6401) Bad night (1336)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you. http://tfl.nu/998a
  Replies (5) Good night (2688) Bad night (1291)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times. http://tfl.nu/we9q
  Replies (12) Good night (2941) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash. http://tfl.nu/jj6x
  Replies (7) Good night (2001) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis http://tfl.nu/770f
  Replies (8) Good night (2010) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (862): I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated. http://tfl.nu/6ujy
  Replies (21) Good night (3496) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub. http://tfl.nu/pgrs
  Replies (7) Good night (1922) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover. http://tfl.nu/myhj
  Replies (2) Good night (741) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done. http://tfl.nu/8szd
  Replies (10) Good night (1397) Bad night (449)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit http://tfl.nu/nmyv
  Replies (4) Good night (1016) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam http://tfl.nu/zq91
  Replies (3) Good night (269) Bad night (664)

Randomize