Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.