Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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