I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
