If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
