"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
