I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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