new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
