dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
