In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
