i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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