it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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