Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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