I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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